Mentoring and Reaching Out to Younger Aspergians

Having experienced firsthand the difficult and tumultuous years of high school and even middle school as an Aspergian, I believe in the importance of an older generation of Aspergians developing an empathetic side for young adults who are experiencing the deep hurt resulting from social ostracization. Especially in youth, a stage of development, growth, and learned maturity, we are much more sensitive and vulnerable to the labels, jeers, and hurtful words of others.

Growing up, I didn't have a support system to deal with my anger, frustration, and depression, and it took a toll on me years later, as I put up a wall between myself and others, avoiding friendships and relationships for fear of getting hurt again. I felt that the less people knew me, the fewer opportunities they would have to expose and make fun of my oddities and quirks. With a support system, an older friend and mentor, I believe I could have learned earlier on to be open to the idea that there are also people who would have accepted me for who I was, awkwardness and all! It took several years down the road for me to start making friends again, but when I finally did, it sowed the seeds of trust and openness, which snowballed into confidence and taking risks. I just wish I had had someone who had been in my shoes, and overcome. There is a distinct bonding element of the shared human experience, and I challenge adults with Aspergers to be this catalyst to success for young adults with our "condition" who face adversity in an overwhelmingly neurotypical society. As the old saying goes, it takes one to know one!

Do you have a child, cousin, or younger brother or sister with Aspergers? Try sitting down with them and sharing some of your greatest challenges and successes at their age as an Aspergian. Find and focus on any commonalities!

Accepting Who We Are, and Finding Inspiration in Others

Life has the oddest, sometimes most miraculous ways of reminding us of our actual worth in this world, our inspiration to overcome obstacles and work with the quirks that make us unique. Just today, I read an amazing article that had given me hope for my future as an apergian, and shifted my viewpoint of self worth to dynamic levels. This article focuses on an American Idol finalist, James Durbin, and his battle with not one, but two disorders: aspergers AND tourettes. What really stood out to me was what he said in relation to his conditions; “I have Tourette’s and Asperger’s, but Tourette’s and Asperger’s don’t have me". This article brought tears to my eyes as I realized that if this affected singer can find success and self worth in himself, perhaps I as well, can find the same perspective within myself. The story of his success, even faced with these conditions he lives with, gives me hope for the future. What an inspiration.

Quite recently I've been struggling with frustrations revolving around my aspergers diagnosis. These last few weeks in particular, I find myself hypothesizing the "what if's" in relation to my Aspergian life. What if I was born without these asperger related struggles? Would I be a different person? And would I live a better and less discouraging life? These are just a few of the questions that revolve in my mind during an average week. There are often constant and lingering anxieties, stemming from personal insecurities in regards to my struggles navigating the world of sociability. Sometimes I absolutely despise my condition.

Periods of frustration and negativity make me want to shut down and close off to the world. My ambitions seem to fade, and I begin to lose hope in myself. I often feel like an "alien" in a world of regular people (neurotypicals), people that see and interact with the world so vastly different than me and my Aspergian brethren. Sometimes, my methods of dealing with these struggles just don't seem to make the cut and its days like these that I begin to feel hopeless, despairing, and discouraged. In my last few blogs, I have focused on the positives in my success in dealing with aspergian struggles. To counteract negative thoughts and depression, it is helpful to focus on finding inspiration. Seeing James Durbin as a role model for Aspergians, who accepts who he is, and embraces it, is a reminder to me that I can accept who I am as an individual, and know that there are others out there who believe in themselves.

Who are some of your role models? What inspires you about them? Let me know in the comments below!